Feb
09

7 things to learn before you’re ready to get married

7 Things to Learn before You’re Ready To Get Married

No amount of advice can prepare you for marriage better than when you’re in it and learning first hand. It doesn’t matter what kind of good or bad experiences you had when dating; marriage is an entirely different ball game. Even if you’ve cohabited with your partner for many years, getting married to them is still a different feeling and a new experience for you both. This is why you shouldn’t get married if you’re unprepared for this experience. 

A lot of excitement comes with getting engaged, but that doesn’t  mean you’re ready for marriage. It may mean different things to different people when you ask how prepared they are for marriage. However, marriage counselors say that for two people to be ready for marriage, they must put their personal preferences aside for their partner or the relationship’s sake. 

Marriage can be so complex that what you and your partner term extremely important and necessary for your marriage to work may mean nothing to another couple. Therefore, one of the most important lessons about marriage is that you must be on the same page with your partner about everything or almost everything before marrying them. 

Marriage itself is a teacher. You will learn many things during the marriage that no one would have or could have prepared you for. However, this question is too crucial to not prepare yourself for it before going ahead. So, there are many things that you need to learn before you get married. Some of these things are discussed below in this article. 

Be ready for the commitment

According to Paulette Sherman, a relationship expert and contributor at assignment writing services, commitment is a crucial skill that individuals must have before joining themselves with someone else in marriage. First, you must be convinced about the person you’re marrying and decide to commit to them because marriage always has hard times. Being committed to each other means you’re both ready to go through the rough terrains and territories together. 

Commitment helps you develop other virtues such as patience and discipline, crucial in a relationship. There may be times when you probably feel like you shouldn’t have married your partner, but commitment helps you get through this tough time and helps you find your love for them again. 

Love your partner’s family

When you marry a person, you’re marrying them with their family. Marriage is as much a union between families as it is between individuals. One family gains a son, and the other gains a daughter. So, you are marrying a person alongside their family’s benefits, obligations, stresses, etc. You must learn to get along with your new family members. This may be easy before marriage, but it may not be the same after it. Sometimes you may need to make compromises for your partner’s family as you make for your partner. If you don’t learn to get along with your partner’s family well, they may make the marriage more difficult for you and could be the end of it. Also, it can be even harder when you bring children into the world and are pulled in both families directions, all the while trying to support your own. 

Ensure you have realistic expectations

No matter how much you love your partner, they’re not perfect. You can’t walk down the aisle thinking you have a perfect person as a partner. This won’t help you create a realistic understanding of them. Before marrying them, learn to create realistic expectations in different situations. Also, understand that there will be times when they’ll exceed these expectations, but in other cases, they will fail to measure up. You must learn to handle both the excitement of their successes and the disappointment of their failures appropriately, and vice versa. 

You will both change 

Indeed, you shouldn’t marry someone thinking you can change them. That’s a wrong reason to marry someone because you’ll fail, and so will they.. However, the truth is, change is inevitable, even in marriage. The both of you will have to change in some ways to keep your love alive. 

According to college paper writers, one of the things you’ll change is how you communicate. You’ll learn to communicate with your partner in ways that are not natural to you but is the best way for your partner to get your message. How you express love may change because of how your partner receives love. 

Know your deal breakers and essentials

Dating someone for years doesn’t mean they’re good enough for you to marry them. You must be clear about what you want in your spouse and those non-negotiables you don’t want in your marriage. Your essentials may be financial stability and excellent communication skills. It’s okay not to proceed with getting married, if your partner doesn’t possess these qualities. Don’t marry them, hoping they will be better. Taking a stand before marriage will help you navigate the storms in marriage when they come. Also, this might be weird to say, but consider what it might be like to co-parent with this person if things were to not work out and you got divorced. This can really be a telling scenario to put yourself in. 

There’s no longer “me”; it’s “we” and “us.”

You become a part of each other’s lives after marrying, so your lives are no longer about each of you, but the both of you. You’re no longer living your life for yourself alone; you’re also living for your partner. So decisions that you would have taken impulsively in pre-marriage now have to be taken more reflectively with your partner in mind. You have to consult with them before making decisions. That’s your new marriage life. 

Love yourself, and your partner

You must learn to love yourself first; otherwise, it will be impossible to love your partner, and marriage can’t work out without love. In marriage, you must love your partner as yourself. So if you don’t love yourself, you won’t learn to love someone else, and the marriage won’t go far. 

Conclusion

There are many things to learn before walking down the aisle. These things may or may not come in handy. But, in the end, you’ll find that marriage is new territory and a course that you must conquer. To do this, you learn and grow as you go. We aren’t born knowing how to have the perfect marriage. It is a learned behavior and takes daily devotion. 

Contributed by Leon Collier: Author Bio

Leon Collier is a blogger and academic writer from the UK. He likes trying new subjects and is always focused on proving his worth in new and challenging writing areas. You can reach him via Twitter @LeonCollier12. 

 

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