Venue: Ritz Carlton Naples (Naples, FL). Photo Credit: TRK Photography
It’s not a title anybody wants to have thrust upon them. But, so many people planning their weddings with the best of intentions can find themselves heading towards bridezilla territory. Planning a wedding can be an incredibly stressful event, especially if you haven’t hired an experienced wedding planner. When you take a look at your wedding budget and think about the best ways to create the perfect day, the fact is that there are plenty of things that can go wrong, yet there are plenty of things that need to go right! Either way, there’s a lot to deal with! This is why it’s important for you to recognize some of the unsuspecting signs that you are turning into a bride (or groom) zilla.
The Wedding Has Consumed Your Life
If find yourself staying up all night trying to research the best wedding venues or are canceling plans with friends just to spend more time planning your perfect day, it’s time to get your balance back. Sometimes, it can be as simple as having a wedding planning checklist. This will help you get a better understanding of how much time you have, or need, to get things in place. There are going to be major parts of your planning that will require you to deal with big decisions first, such as your venue, the dress, or the entertainment. But, when the wedding takes over your entire life, that can wreak havoc on you. Taking those opportunities to prioritize the things that have nothing to do with your wedding can make a big difference to your frame of mind. It’s important to pay attention to your future spouse, your family and friends, as well as your work responsibilities.
You Are Putting Unrealistic Expectations of Your Wedding Party
Of course your wedding party wants to be involved in your wedding. But, you’ve got to be respectful of them and recognize they’ve got their own lives to be concerned with as well. There will be lots of times when a bride or groom has a very specific idea about how they want to be catered to, but this is not a good idea. While it’s certainly your day, you’ve got to remember that the bridal party wants to feel like they are having a part in your special day, rather than being just an accessory. Having a conversation with your bridal party at the beginning of the process sets expectations, but it also ensures that you can keep your expectations reasonable.
You Are Micromanaging the Team You Hired
If you are working with vendors or an experienced event planner, you’ve got to have faith in what they are going to bring to your day. A wedding involves thousands of details and lots of processes. There will be a lot that you don’t know about. So, leave it to the professionals in a lot of these instances. For example, if you have your heart set on a certain flower, but the florist tells you it’s not going to be ready in time for your wedding, you’ve got to trust their opinion. Because if you try to find another florist who tells you what you want to hear, you are not just disrespecting your first florist but if that first florist was right, you are not going to get what you want anyway! Trust what they have to say because they’ve done it for much longer than you have.
The Wedding Has Become More Important Than the Relationship
If you have become consumed by wedding planning, you’ve got to rethink your priorities. The wedding is important, but this should not be to the detriment of your relationship. Because there will be certain signs that you are prioritizing the wedding over the relationship. If you would rather plan than actually spend time with your fiancé, this is a major red flag that needs addressing. It’s important to remember that the wedding is for the two of you. If you are taking over the planning and your fiancé feels like they need to take a back seat to proceedings, it’s very likely the wedding is taking priority over the entire relationship and you need to have a drastic rethink of everything. As an experienced wedding planner, we find that our best client is one where both parties are involved or at least interested in the planning, so involve your future spouse in the planning.
You Are Setting the Bar Too High for the Families
Back in the day, the parents planned the wedding. But today, weddings have become more about the couple getting married than the parents input. Not all parents enjoy wedding planning but others want to be involved in as many ways as possible, especially if they are “hosting” (aka “paying”) for the wedding. The best approach is to speak with both parties to make sure that you are not setting them up for disappointment. Stress that you do not want to have a tense relationship with your parents or your fiancé’s parents throughout the wedding planning process. When we set unrealistic expectations of others, we are showing them that we either expect too much of them or we don’t trust their opinions. Honesty is the best policy, especially when it comes to the parents.
You Are Going Wild With the Budget
We all want to have the perfect day and this means that if we are contemplating using our retirement account funds, or we have unreasonable expectations, this can be a major sign that we are heading into bridezilla territory. We have to remember that a wedding is the start of a relationship and life will need to continue after it. Money issues can be a major cause for concern in any relationship, especially when it comes to planning the wedding. It’s far better for you to operate within a comfortable budget at the very outset and try to stick to it. Because if you start to think you can add a little bit here and there, you can easily run away with your finances and you don’t want to start off your relationship under this pressure. Studies show one of the #1 causes of divorce is financial discord between the couple.
It’s always important to recognize if you are venturing into bridezilla territory. Remember, when you are planning your big day, it’s about the two of you.
XO,
Table 6