Planning a wedding is one of the most exciting things you’ll ever get to do. Your special day should be a wonderful celebration of the love between you and your partner.
However, most people quickly find that while wedding planning can be fun and exciting, it can also be incredibly stressful. Some of the most common stressors include deciding where to live after you get married, how to blend your families, financial issues, dealing with the pressure to “look perfect,” and so much more.
Whether you’ve just started your wedding planning journey or you’re in the thick of it and your mental health is starting to suffer, don’t panic.
While you might not be able to eliminate every stressor from your wedding planning experience, there are things you can do to nurture your mental health along the way. Let’s cover a few tips that will keep you in control, limit your worries, and help you feel more relaxed as you plan your big day.
Lean On Your Partner
Now, more than ever, you and your partner need to lean on each other for support. Even if one of you is doing most of the planning, it’s important to have meaningful conversations about what to expect – not just on your wedding day, but from the marriage itself.
For example, you might be worried about where you’re going to live, how to deal with inlaws, or even how to bring your family together if this isn’t your first marriage and you have children.
Remember that you and your partner are on the same team. It’s okay to disagree about things, but coming to a viable solution before you walk down the aisle will make your day far less stressful, and will make it easier to look forward to the marriage, rather than worry about what to expect after you say “I do.”
If your biggest issue is how to decide where to live, look at several practical factors that can make it easier for you, and less of an emotional decision. Some of those factors include
- Cost of living
- School and career options
- Quality of life
Of course, that’s just one potential issue you might be struggling with. If you’re not sure you and your partner are on the same page, you might consider attending pre-marital counseling or couples counseling before you tie the knot.
Set Healthy Boundaries
When you’re about to get married, it’s normal for friends and family members to want to help. It’s also normal to be extremely busy and not have much time for a social life.
Listening to so many opinions while feeling overwhelmed and burnt out can take a huge toll on your mental well-being. One of the best things you can do to combat those issues is to set boundaries for yourself – and with others.
Your boundaries as an individual and a couple should reflect what you truly want for your wedding day. They might include settling on a small, intimate ceremony rather than a large event. Or, maybe you’ll even consider eloping to avoid spending too much or hurting anyone’s feelings for not getting invited.
It’s not always easy to put boundaries in place, but you shouldn’t feel selfish or guilty for it. Think about what you need, individually, and what your relationship needs.
For example, if you’re spending too much of your time focused on wedding planning, you could set a limit to only “plan” an hour a day. Use the rest of your free time to go on a date night with your partner and reconnect! If friends or family members are offering too many “opinions,” make sure they understand your boundaries, too, and that your wedding will be a reflection of your love and happiness, not something for anyone else.
It’s not uncommon for brides and grooms to become extra aware of their physical appearance leading up to the big day. You’ve probably heard the phrase “shedding for the wedding,” because so many people about to get married try to lose weight quickly. Others might try to look their best by getting a tan, investing in expensive makeup, or even getting cosmetic procedures done.
While there’s nothing wrong with looking your best, it shouldn’t be done at the expense of your mental health.
If you’re not eating enough or focusing on nutrition, you could actually end up making yourself sick, adding extra stress to the planning process.
Instead of solely focusing on losing weight or looking great, take a “big picture” approach to self-care as your wedding day approaches. Instead of dieting, choose to focus on proper nutrition that can improve your mood and decrease stress. Other self-care activities that can help you to look and feel great include
- Getting enough sleep each night
- Exercising regularly (without overdoing it!)
- Meditation or mindfulness
Self-care isn’t selfish when you’re planning a wedding. It’s a necessity. By prioritizing it along with some of the other tips listed here, you’ll spend more time looking forward to your big day and less time feeling stressed or anxious about it.